아마도 국내에선 우에노 치즈코 하면 <내셔널리즘과 젠더> 아니면 <가부장제와 자본주의>를 떠올리는 사람이 다수일 것이다. 물론 그보다 더 많은 사람은 우에노 치즈꼬? 그기 머꼬? 할 테지만. 그래서 이 책을 기꺼이 구입하여 읽은 사람은 두 부류일 것이다. 우에노 치즈코 새 책이 나왔다는 소식에 내용도 안 보고 냉큼 산 여성주의자(젠장, 나다;), <화려한 싱글 돌아온 싱글 언젠간 싱글>이라는, 출판사에서(만) 흡족해 할 만한 제목을 보고 망설이다 고른 독신자. 뭐, 짝지와 살고 있는 사람도 일부 있긴 하겠다. 출판사로서는 아마 후자에 방점을 찍고 출간을 결심했을 터이다. 그러니 표지에 '우에노 치즈코(동경대학교 대학원 교수) 지음' 이렇게 박아놓았겠지. 하하.

그러나 안타깝게도 모든 여성들에게 도움이 되고자 한 필자의 의도와는 달리, 이 책은 소수 여성의 미래만 밝혀주고 있는 것 같다. 혼자 아름답게, 혹은 존엄하게 늙기 위해 필요한 것들에 대한 얘기가 대부분 생략되어 있기 때문이다. 그리하여 이 책을 읽은 감상은 지은이가 스스로 한 말로 정리할 수 있겠다.

나의 아버지는 의사였는데 당신이 이미 손 쓸 수 없는 말기 암환자라는 사실을 알고 난 뒤부터는 죽음의 문턱 앞에서 동요하길 반복했다. 조금도 죽음에 대한 준비를 하지 못했다. 그것이 보통 사람의 모습일 것이다. 아버지를 돌보기 시작하면서 친구나 지인으로부터 비슷한 경험에 대해 질릴 정도로 많이 들었으나 훌륭한 사람의 훌륭한 죽는 법 같은 것은 아무리 많이 들어도 전혀 도움이 되지 않았다. "그런 사람들도 있기야 있을 테지." 하는 느낌뿐이다(115쪽).

그래, 그런 사람들도 있기야 있기야 있을 테지. 그러나 이 책처럼 훌륭한 싱글의 훌륭한 늙어 죽기 같은 건 전혀 도움이 되지 않았다. 그런 느낌뿐. 먼저 '화려한 싱글'인 내 경우를 보자. '화려한'이라는 수식어에서부터 쓴웃음이 난다. 나는 고학력 독신자(소위 '결혼적령기'도 한참 전에 넘겼다)이지만 '골드미스'와는 너무나 먼 삶을 살고 있기 때문이다. 벌이가 적어 당장의 주거문제조차(주거문제씩이나!) 해결할 수 없고, 벌이가 는다고 해도 그것이 얼마나 지속될지도 알 수 없다. 한마디로 이 책에서 말하는 것처럼 혼자 늙어가다 거동이 불편해지면 남의 도움도 받을 만큼 자금을 마련해 놓기에는 미래가 참으로 불투명한 것이다. 그러나 저자는 '꾀죄죄한 싱글'에는 별 관심이 없어 보인다. 그러니 집 한 채 정도는 갖고 있는 늘그막을 전제하고, 생전에 벌었던 돈은 다 쓰고 가라고 조언하는 게 '자연스럽'다.

수도권 주택공급이 과잉상태에 이르게 된 오늘날, 싱글이라고 해서 대출을 거절당하거나 집을 빌려주지 않겠다는 식으로는 은행도 더 이상 영업을 유지해나갈 수 없게 되었다. 오히려 부양가족이 없는 3, 40대 돈 많은 싱글 남성은 디자이너스 맨션(입주자가 원하는 대로 집 구조를 설계해주는 아파트)의 좋은 고객이다(59쪽).

주택을 스스로의 힘으로 손에 넣지 못한 경우에도 저출산 덕택에 부모의 부동산이 굴러들어올 확률이 높아졌다. 시골에 있는 땅 같은 것 받아봤자 얼마나 하겠어……라고 생각하는 사람도 있을지 모르나 임대를 하거나 처분한다면 그것도 무시 못 할 돈이 된다(60쪽).

늙어 혼자 살 집은 원룸이면 OK라고 하는 꼭지인데, 어떻게든 그 정도 돈은 마련할 수 있을 거라는 투다. 하지만 그렇지 않은 사람은 어쩌나. 5, 60 넘어서까지 하루하루 생활비를 충당하기 위해 일하는 여성, 부모에게 물려받을 것 없는 수준을 넘어 오히려 부모를 부양해야 하는 여성들은 이 책에서 자신의 이야기를 찾을 수는 없을 것이다. 어떻게 하면 늙어 혼자가 되기 전까지 돈을 모을 수 있는지 언질이라도 주면 좋으련만! 이 저명 사회학자는 비슷한 부류(최소한 경제적 조건)의 사람들과만 교류하고 계신 것이 아닌지.

그럼 저학력이지만 소위 중산층 정도의 경제적 능력을 갖춘 내 어머니가 이 책을 읽는다면 어떨까. 어머니는 우선 툭툭 튀어나오는 영어에 깜짝 깜짝 놀라실 것이다. 데이터? 석세스풀 에이징? 싱글의 라이프스타일? 데이케어센터? 커뮤니케이션? 얼마든지 더 찾아낼 수 있다. 결국 어머니는 읽은 둥 마는 둥 구석에 꽂아두거나, 나한테 도로 돌려주시거나(책이라곤 일평생 손에 꼽을 정도로 읽으신 당신께서 직접 이 책을 서점에 가서 살 일은 결코 없으니까), 짠짠. 그러니 '번역된 원고를 같이 읽고 많은 이야기를 들려준' 옮긴이의 어머니는 최소한 고졸은 되시겠다. 혹시 아니라면 그동안 시대와 자식에게 뒤떨어지지 않으려고 열심히 공부하셨겠군요. 콩그레츄레이션즈~! 이 책의 독자가 되실 수 있겠어요. 우리 어머니 걱정은 마세요. 당신 혼자 먹고 사실 돈은 있거든요. 이 책에서 말하는 대로 하기 위해 필요한 걸 딱 두 개로 요약하자면 돈, 그리고 '혼자 늙어 죽는다는 것을 받아들이기'일 텐데, 일단 전자는 해결되었으니 후자는 좀 더 어머니의 눈높이에 맞는 책을 찾아보도록 할게요. 이런 책이 아니라 (불교)경전에서 더 큰 도움을 받으실 것 같긴 하지만요.

글이 점점 길어지고 있는 게 마음에 안 들긴 하지만, 이왕 시작한 거 생뚱맞은 7장에 대해서도 언급해야겠다. 원서는 6장까지였었나 본데 한국어판을 내면서 한국 사람에게 한국 실정에 맞는 글을 요청했던 모양이다. 그 결과 '한국에서 여자로 산다는 것'이라는 거창한 제목을 달고 나온 7장의 내용은 이렇다. 한국은 고령화가 빠르게 진행되고 있다. 그런데 여성들의 사회'진출'이 늘어나면서 가정 내에서 노인들을 돌볼 사람이 없어지고 있다. 자녀들도 예전과 달라 더 이상 부모를 모시려고 하지 않는다. 그러다 정말 맥락 없이 싱글여성들이 아직도 결혼을 꿈꾼다는 얘기가 나왔다가, 실버타운은 할머니들이 더 잘 적응한다더라는 얘기를 거쳐 결국 '노인장기요양보험이 며느리를 대신한다'는 결론에 이른다.

한국은 간병이 필요한 고령자는 고령자 중 12% 정도인데, 실제 정부에서 혜택을 줄 수 있는 규모는 3% 정도이기 때문에 나머지 9%는 결국 지금처럼 가족이 책임지거나 홀로 방치되는 상황이 계속될 수밖에 없다. 또한 보험 수급 규모가 작기 때문에 관련분야의 질적 향상을 위해 절대적으로 필요한 민간기업의 참여가 적어 서비스의 질적인 부분의 개선이 어려울 것으로 보인다. 서비스 제공자가 경쟁을 통해 이용자에게 보다 좋은 서비스와 제품을 공급하기 위한 노력이 있어야 이용자 및 이용자 가족들도 그 전의 복지 차원보다 한층 향상된 서비스를 제공받을 수 있다(243-244쪽).

아직은 이렇게 부족하지만 노인장기요양보험과 함께하는 장밋빛 미래. 알흠답도다. 그런데 음, 정말 정말 정말? 한국여성민우회에서는 장기요양보험 시행 3개월을 맞아 모니터링 결과를 발표한 적이 있다. 그 자리에서는 요양사를 정말 '며느리'라고 생각해서인지 '요양'업무가 아니라 '가사'업무를 시키는 사례들이 보고되었다. 민간기업의 참여로 수요를 초과하는 공급이 발생하면서, 본인부담금을 사측이 부담해가면서까지 수급자를 유치하려는 출혈경쟁 또한 지적되었다. 그러나 그 같은 모니터링 결과를 앞에 두고도 정부 관계자는 문제없다, 우리는 잘하고 있다는 태도로 일관해서 참가자들의 공분을 샀던 것으로 알고 있다. 그런 노인장기요양보험을 두고 한국사람들이 기댈 수 있는 노후대책의 결정체인 양, 많은 부분을 할애하는 것이 과연 적당했을까 하는 의문이 든다. 그래 어리둥절하기도 하고, 글쓴이의 이름도 낯설어 책날개를 보니 '실버산업 컨설팅' 회사의 대표라고 한다. 흠, 노인장기요양보험에 참여하려는 민간기업 컨설팅도 하고 계신 것은 아닌지? 아니 출판사는, 학자까지는 아니더라도 단체활동가나 기자 등등, 한국사회에서 여성으로 살다 늙어 죽는 얘기를 써줄 사람 찾기가 그렇게 어려워서 기업체 대표에게 글을 맡긴 것인지? 의문이 꼬리에 꼬리를 무는 7장이다.

뭐 어쨌거나, 대부분의 여성이 결국 혼자가 되어 늙을 거라는 것은 이제 부인할 수 없는 통계적 사실이다. 그러나 지금까지 계속 떠들어온 것처럼 어느 정도 경제적 기반이 있는, 고학력에 노후가 두려운 여성만 이 책을 기꺼이 사서 읽길 권한다. 돈은 있으니 책이 마음에 들지 않더라도 '에이, 돈 버렸네' 하고 말 수 있을 거고, 책이 마음에 든다면 친구 만들기, 노후를 보낼 궁리하기 등등을 계획하거나 실천해 옮겨볼 수 있을 것이다. 아참참, '옮긴이는 젊은(혹은 어린) 남성이랍니다'는 티를 팍팍 풍기는 문체와 '횟수'와 '회수', '이러할진대'와 '이러할 진데'도 구분 못한 교정교열을 감당할 수 있다면 말이다.

<화려한 싱글 돌아온 싱글 언젠간 싱글>
우에노 치즈코 지음 / 나일등 옮김 / 이완정 감수 / 이덴슬리벨 펴냄 / 2008년

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Posted by etcetera

2009/01/04 14:36 2009/01/04 14:36

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  1. "화려한 싱글, 돌아온 싱글, 언젠간 싱글"

    Tracked from 道를 아십니까 2010/05/17 10:04 Delete

    "화려한 싱글, 돌아온 싱글, 언젠간 싱글 독후감""돌아온 싱글""언젠간 싱글 독후감""우에노 치즈코 <화려한 싱글, 돌아온 싱글, 언젠간 싱글>(이덴슬리""화려한 싱글, 돌아온 싱글, 언젠간 싱글"(?

  2. "이러할진대 이러할진데"

    Tracked from 道를 아십니까 2010/05/17 10:13 Delete

    <화려한 싱글, 돌아온 싱글, 언젠간 싱글> 독후감 마지막에 "이러할진대"와 "이러할 진데"도 구분을 못 했다고 써 놨더니만 잊을 만하면 저 검색어를 치고 들어오시는 분들이 계시는군요. 해당 ?

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