마음의 빚

나는 결국, 순천향병원에도, 남일당에도 가지 못했다.

몸이 회복되지 않아서, 너무 추워서, 뒤늦게 생각이 나서, '민중'이니 '열사'니 하는 말에 두드러기가 날 것 같아서... 많은 이유를 댔지만, 그리고 그 이유들은 모두 '타당'했지만, 스스로를 부끄러움에서 벗어나게 하지는 못했고 만 원짜리 다섯 장은 내게 계속 마음의 짐으로 남았다.

용산은 이제 보상도 협의되고 장례도 치러진 마당인지라 다른 곳을 찾아야 했다. 지금, 여기, 얼마 안 되는 돈이나마 가장 필요해 보이는 곳. 단체에 할까 일다에 할까, 얼마 되지도 않는 돈을 가지고 많이도 고민했다.

이틀 연속, 뉴스를 보면서 울었다.

이 지구에 사람이 너무 많은 것이 원죄일 것이나, 그렇게 말하는 '산 목숨' 누구도 그 원죄에서 자유롭지 않으므로 그 말은 아무런 의미도, 힘도 가지지 못한다.

아이티라는 나라는, 내게는 늘 '스웨트 숍(sweat shop)'이라는 말과 함께이다. 나이키 등 유수의 다국적기업이 미국과 가까운 아이티에 봉제공장을 세우고 젊은 여성들을 고용하여 최저생계비에도 못 미치는 돈을 주며 착취한다는 내용을 고발하는 다큐멘터리 때문이다. 한때 연락이 두절되었던, 출장 간 한국사람이 '봉제공장' 사장이라는 말에 가슴이 얼마나 아렸던지.

신도, 사람도 원망할 수조차 없는 그곳에 알량한 잔돈푼을 보내며 왜 나는 '신'이 아닌가, 어릴 적 들었던 원망이 새삼스레 고개를 쳐든다. 그러나 나는 여전히 신이 아니므로, 인간이 할 수 있는 최선의, 혹은 최소한의 일을 해야만 한다.

:: 유니세프 한국위원회 https://www.unicef.or.kr
:: 월드비전 www.worldvision.or.kr
:: 세이브더칠드런 www.sc.or.kr
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2010/01/15 10:54 2010/01/15 10:54
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